Time is such a weird thing. I swear I was just posting about our 27th anniversary like yesterday. But I feel like it’s been FOREVER since I’ve written a vacation post! LOL!! Crazy how that works!
With Haden just getting married a couple weeks ago, A ton of memories of our own wedding came flooding to us recently and It seems like Forever ago and also a blink of an eye all at the same time! The one thing I do know is that although we have gone thru ALOT of stuff together, some awesome stuff and some not so awesome, The one constant in it all is that I have Doug to share it all with! It doesn’t matter if something really good happens to me or if the most dramatic or traumatic thing in the world happens to me he is the first person I run to, he is my rock, my confidant, my sounding board, he knows all my strengths and weaknesses and loves me despite of and/or because of them all. What a great feeling to know and love someone so much, I can only imagine it will get better and better with time.
At Haden and Kaiti’s luncheon we passed the microphone around and had people share marriage advice for the Newlyweds. I felt bad that I didn’t get up and say anything, I have a huge fear of public speaking so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get anything out but maybe some tears and a few jumbled words then sit down and everyone would wonder what is wrong with Haden’s mom? LOL So right now I want to share some of my advice.
The number one thing is there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Your spouse will do things that bug the crap out of you, try as hard as you want you to but you will not change them, you need to just learn to love and accept those differences. The sooner you learn this one the better. Why would we change the person we fell in love with anyway? being different from us is probably the main reason we fell in love with them in the first place!
The second one is admit when you are wrong. I am as stubborn as they get and don’t like to admit that I am wrong, heck I don’t think any of us like to, but being able to say I am right, is never worth it! It’s ok to be wrong sometimes. And try not to rub it in when you are Right, I know it’s hard, but remember how hard it is to be the guy who is wrong.
Third, even though you hear it all the time… never go to bed angry and always kiss goodnight while they both are great advice most of the time, there are really sometimes when going to bed is better than hashing something out that is only escalated because you both are super tired and being super irrational. Most of the time in those situations a good night’s rest will do the trick and most of the time you will realize whatever it was you had an issue with wasnt even that big of a deal in the morning.
And my last piece of advice is to always touch, hug, kiss, flirt, hold hands, dance, laugh, text or some sort of togetherness every day!! This one isn’t hard the first couple years of marriage, and to be honest it isn’t that hard for Doug and I, but there has been times when life gets the better of us and we were not as affectionate to each other and I could see and feel a huge difference in our relationship when that happens. I have also personally seen couples slowly stop doing these simple little things, and their marriages suffer greatly! Every single one of us craves love and affection. I believe if you keep showing your love to your spouse every single day, things will be that much better between you and you can get through anything together, there is a closeness that needs to be there to feel truly safe, comfortable and vulnerable with someone and in return, truly loved.