I was doing so good blogging up until the holiday season hit and then It came to a screeching halt! I sure miss the good ol days when I would be done with my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving even rolled around, those days have been gone for a while now, but this year I think has been the worst It has ever been! I think it all started when Doug got offered a job that for the first time in 12 years he would even considered taking. We stayed up nights weighing the pros and cons of him accepting this new job. You see Doug has been with Dr. Kimball for 12 years and he is very loyal to him, but Dr. Kimball is heading towards retirement in the near future and Doug has been secretly stressed about what he will do when that time comes. I never doubted that he would be able to find a new job when that time would come, but when this job opportunity arose, we both felt like maybe this was a sign that it was time to part ways, before it became a necessity anyway. But if you know Doug at all, he is a very loyal and the thought of telling Dr. Kimball made his stomach hurt, he didn’t want to leave him in a bind, so to say he was a little stressed was an understatement. We finally made the decision and had plans to tell Dr. Kimball Monday morning after the weekend. Well of course the weekend before Doug was supposed to tell him, Doug’s dad passed away. So with the stress of watching your father die, then having to put together a funeral program a slide show presentation and Doug speaking at the funeral, the job situation just added to the stress!!
From that week on, it’s been non-stop stress in one form or another. So I decided to make our lives easier and with my boys all grown up this year, this would be the perfect year to cut back on our Christmas, I decided we would maybe give each of them one gift and then some cash and be done…. Sounds easy right?? well for some reason that one gift has caused me all kinds of stress, what do you get grown kids?? How much do you spend? How much cash do I give?? If I spend this much on one, do I have to spend the same amount on the others? the closer its gotten to Christmas the more I just couldn’t do it, I love watching them open presents, it’s one of my love languages after all…so off we went to Christmas shop in the crowds I went not once, not twice, but three different times!! You guys I am usually an online shopper only type of girl… Just finding a parking space at the mall causes me all kinds of anxiety!! I swear I will never do that again!!
Why is it so hard for me to transition from having younger kids to older ones?? I tell my kids every year Christmas will be smaller this year and every year they just laugh at me… well I told them this year I was just doing cash and yup, again that’s not happening… but I swear to you next year it really will be😜 Because I tell them if I blog about it, it is truth!! So you heard it here first!! Well it’s not a total lie , I did spend less this year then years past, but I still probably spent too much… and yet I still stay up at night worrying that everyone has enough, How much do people spend on their married kids? Collage age kids?? I need help!?! I know Christmas isn’t about the gift giving, I just need help mentally adjusting to not being Santa anymore!
Before you go and judge me for being stressed over something so trivial as gift giving, Dealing with a death in the family and a job change during the holidays has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I do realize we are blessed, I have a lot to be thankful for and I realize the things I’m stressing about it in the grand scheme of things don’t really matter. I am going to try to enjoy these last couple weeks and stop stressing about the small stuff! I have a family and husband who loves me, we may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. So for the next 13 days My goal is to slow down and stop stressing, spending more quality time with my loved ones and try focusing on the True meaning of Christmas!
Janna's Journey 