Anyone who knows me knows I love the sun. I am definitely the happiest in the warm summer months. This is kind of hard to share ,But what they don’t know is that there is more to it than just an intense hate for cold and snow, I actually have a form of depression; seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Usually it’s the worst for me around January and February. But this last week with the sudden rain and colder temperatures, It has crept up on me all of a sudden. I don’t know if it’s because we went from warm to cold so fast or because my hormones are all over the place with this menopause stuff, or just me adjusting to my kids not needing me as much or a nice combination of it all, but I’m not liking it at all! And I’m sure my husband isn’t either! 😛
I tend to get sad, lazy, eat more, I get super irritated, I can’t sleep, I feel worthless and my social anxieties go through the roof. Most people probably don’t know this about me, but I actually have a lot of anxieties. Sometimes they are more crippling than others. I can’t explain how hard it is to live with these. I used to take anti depressants for years and while they helped a lot, I didn’t like how they made me feel, I felt like I didn’t have the ability to feel really happy or sad. I was just somewhere in the middle all the time and I didn’t like that blah feeling either. For example; I tend to cry very easily, If anyone around me starts crying I usually end up crying right along with them, I tend to feel empathy for others and when I was on anti-depressants I couldn’t even muster up a single tear ever! (Which sometimes I miss because I really am a big boob.) But I didn’t like not being able to feel. So I got off of them cold turkey ( which I do not recommend) and have been off of them for over 12 years!
I am sharing this so that maybe it will help others who struggle with the same thing and also so that I can remember what I need to do to snap out of it.
Things that help me get out of my funk; Keeping busy, exercise, sitting in the sun or sometimes a trip to the tanning salon is necessary( I know I know they are so bad for you) but sometimes I give in and it really does help me. Keeping with a routine, pick up a hobby, go to lunch with a friend. Getting out of the house even when I have no desire to, all of these things seem to help me from getting in too deep. I hope this helps at least one person and of course if your depression is on a much bigger scale please seek professional help!! Just know you are not alone and it’s nothing to be ashamed of!